I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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