Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
