Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
