Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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