It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
