Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
