I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If that was your dad, he is hot
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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