My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
