May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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