Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
