I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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