I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
