so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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