So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
