tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
