Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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