I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
