Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
