I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
