I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
