shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
