All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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