Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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