Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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