its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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