From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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