hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
