Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
