I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
