you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
