I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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