Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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