I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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