Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
