holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
