im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
