So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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