we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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