Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
