did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
