I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
