JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You're a waste of cheezeits
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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