So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
