Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
