I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
