idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So here I am, sexting at work.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
