I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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