The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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