Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
