I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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