found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am spending my child support on dildos
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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