I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is the high leading the old right now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
