just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
